Alexandria erzählt von ihren Geburten: Ihre Tochter wurde in einem unnötigen Kaiserschnitt geholt. Ihren Sohn bringt sie im Krankenhaus mit einer Doula auf die Welt. Dann hat sie eine Fehlgeburt, die sie arg mitnimmt. Ihre vierte Schwangerschaft endet mit einer Hausgeburt, die sie zwar als schmerzvoll, aber auch kraftvoll in Erinnerung hat.
Baby Elysia: An Unnecessary C-Section
Sepheira’s birth story really starts long before she was actually born. My first pregnancy was with my daughter Elysia. She was born via c-section that was completely not needed. My ex-husband was no support; nor was his family. My mother was over a thousand miles away and we couldn’t afford a doula. I’d wanted a lot of things, like delayed clamping, natural vaginal birth. I hadn’t really wanted to be in the hospital. So after the trauma of my first born’s birth I knew something had to be different next time.
Baby Cadeyrn: Born in hospital with a doula
Boy was it. Literally. My second pregnancy was with a completely different person and a different gender child. I had a doula this time. She was a greatest support outside of my husband and mini doula who held my hand while I was laboring on the ball transitioning from active to transition while still at home. I was given the option to have my son, Cadeyrn, at home, but due to not being prepared, etc I choose not to. Had we actually stayed home much longer he would have been. The worst down sides to his birth was the not asking me about Pitocin after birth even though my placenta literally came out right after he did and the nurses during our stay.
The Angel Baby: Sage
This is where the move away from the hospital really began. At nine months postpartum we had a surprise pregnancy thanks to a data loss from my phone. Just as we were getting used to the idea, we lost our baby. No heart beat was found at the dating scan since I knew my guess date was wrong. I was alone and my world crumbled. It would take two weeks and three days after our anniversary for our baby to come earth side. I caught my nine week old fetus in my hand with my other two children present. The placenta came right after into the toilet. I didn’t stop bleeding. We messaged my old doula from my son and she brought tinctures over. I kept passing out. My blood pressure was tanking. But it finally looked like I was stabilizing. My doula left.
I got up to go to the bathroom before bed and I passed out again this time vomiting into my mouth. It was time to go to the hospital. We had to wait on my husband’s unit to find someone to watch the kids for us before we could go. I passed out at least two more times. The emergency room desk desk was going to make me wait in the waiting room while filling out the paperwork if not for a nurse who took one look at me and took me back. I remember heading towards the doors and nothing else. I woke up (the only passing out I didn’t feel coming and the lost one actually unconscious) with two nurse putting IV lines into both of my arms.
What I didn’t know was that the nurses had left me in the wheelchair to get someone to move me onto the bed. My husband with his bad back and destroyed knees decided not to wait and put me on the bed himself. I’m not a small thing either. The emergency room visit turned into an eight hour wait with two blood transfusions, being inverted because my blood pressure wouldn’t go back up. Finding out that my cervix was trying to close but blood clots kept getting stuck trying to come out and so I was bleeding out from it.
The second OB at shift change tried to say I hadn’t actually passed my baby. No. I caught her. She was safe at home and wouldn’t be thrown in the garbage. We ended up with a D&C (Dilation and curettage) just to get the clots out so the cervix could close all the way. I was discharged the same day with none of my meds and hubby a free week out of work from the Army as I couldn’t be left alone especially with two toddlers.
Rainbow Baby: The Pregnancy
My husband wanted to wait to try again, but I needed to hold life again to feel alive. Every passing month felt like a curse. My precious Sage was gone and no amount of screaming to the gods would have brought her back. During this time we gained my brother in law. The first month he was here we were supposed to skip trying, the next month too as they were the months our first two were conceived in. I had a feeling not to. That feeling paid off. I got a positive test at only nine days past ovulation. We had our rainbow and the fear began.
I wasn’t hopeful. I didn’t make plans. I didn’t write up lists for anything we would need. Not until we passed the nine week mark. During the pregnancy I had too many ultrasounds for my taste and they tried to force more. I didn’t want to go to my appointments, but having hypothyroidism I had to. I also needed to keep up with CBC panels to make sure my iron levels were staying where they needed to. We knew this was going to be our homebirth. The one we didn’t get when we lost Sage. We couldn’t afford a midwife especially when insurance paid for everything. So we decided that we would come up with the funds to use just my old doula. She was simply waiting on the time to pass to be able to become a midwife here as it was, but she would be there just as support regardless.
Other people’s opinion
During all of this, a troll sent messages to my provider about me planning a homebirth, my doula, etc and then she confronted me about it. She asked what she needed to say or do to convince me to come to the hospital. I said nothing. Here was a woman who saw me through my two oldest kids, trying to scare me with hospital statistics as homebirth ones and push me into the very place that didn’t do anything for me with my angel baby. The place that treated me like dirt and causing anxiety to spike just thinking about walking into the building let alone doing it. It ended that relationship. She valued what they told her over anything about me.
So I got my last labs at 35/36 weeks and quit going to appointments. It felt amazing. I had to go on blood builders prior to that and the last labs came out great. I knew the entire time I would go over the 40 week dates. My first born was at 40.4 and my son was at 41.5 weeks. Into the days leading up my water started a slow leak. It was never enough to really notice other than being damp. I wasn’t peeing myself like my first and I couldn’t smell anything over normal odor.
Contractions starting!
Sunday morning. It seems that’s my day to go into labor. Both of my oldest were born on a Monday. Sepheira had other plans. Not only would she be my first Sunday birth. She was my first day birth and shortest labor. I woke up at around 5 in the morning to go to the bathroom. When I got back into bed I felt a contraction. I decided to wait and see what happened. After a few of them I noticed that they were both quite painful and close together so I downloaded the timer app just to see where we were at. They were coming at the same time frame and lasting as long as my son’s during active labor. My second girl had decided to skip early labor completely.
Yoga, Breakfast, Pool-Preparations
I tried to wake my husband up, but he had stayed up later than normal and wasn’t having it. So I called my doula instead. Afterwards I got onto the yoga ball and had breakfast alone in the living room. By seven the contractions were already starting to take a toll. I called my doula back and she started to gather everything to head over with instructions to start filling the pool that we had luckily blown up the night before. This time my husband got up knowing that I wasn’t messing around with him. This was it even if he wanted more sleep.
My doula, Anita, came in and checked on me. Made sure baby wasn’t coming right then, so she left to go get her something to eat and her assistant while I was allowed to get into the shower to try and find some relief. My brother in law got the kids up, changed and breakfast. I couldn’t find a single comfortable position. Sitting on the yoga ball didn’t help. I couldn’t be on my side with a peanut ball. Anything other than standing, leaning against the wall was unbearable and the latter wasn’t much better. Unlike my labor with my son, Sepheira’s labor was right at the c-section scar and wrapping around my right hip. A hip I had been having major issues with during my pregnancy.
Pool Time
It seemed like forever, but I was finally allowed to get into the pool. It offered some relief, but it wasn’t much. Knowing my history of having cervical lips, Anita offered to check me so we could get into a better position to help baby along. This is where things got moving even more. Instead of a lip in the back I had one in the front. I was put back onto the bed with the peanut ball between my legs. I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the pain. Every time I started to get into a groove of riding through the pain got worse. I have never felt anything like it before and hope to never again. This little girl was shattering everything I believed in.
Please make the pain stop
I wanted to go to the hospital. I wanted pain meds. I was even willing to have another section, which was a big no no; all just to get the pain to stop. While I was on the bed my water broke and the Fetal Ejection Reflex kicked in. I wasn’t allowed to push with them while trying to get through the cervical lip. But it was so hard. Every muscle in my stomach was pushing down on baby to get her out. Gush after gush of water came out that I was surprised neither the bed was soaked nor I ran out of fluid. Finally back to the pool.
Hairy baby on the way!
While I didn’t believe we were actually getting any closer the end was coming. I was literally trying to physically run away from the pain of it all. Not that it was ever going to happen. But now that we were in the pool I didn’t have to fight the contractions as they worked. I leaned on my husband in the pool and he held my hips open while I pushed with each contraction screaming through it all.
The older kids would look into the room as they walked by, but no fuss from them. I had prepared them with birthing videos of people who were loud just like I knew I would be. Anita checked me as Sepheira was coming out. I could feel all the hair and knew that acid had been worth something. But she was trying to push up into the clitoral area so Anita asked if I wanted her to push down on baby gently so that when I pushed baby didn’t rise up and tear me up there. I said yes. With more screaming and pushing it didn’t take long until my little rainbow was here.
My brother in law even got to watch as the kids had gone to nap. I was sad, but he went and got my eldest, my first girl as she was still awake. Somehow the mama’s boy had managed to go to sleep through me screaming. Elysia was in love, but had to wait until after nap.
Placenta birth
Placenta. The contractions for that hurt just as bad as having the baby. They continued to be in the same place and wrap the right hip. But it came out within ten to fifteen minutes so there wasn’t too much to handle. We moved back to the bedroom for golden hour, weigh in, first feedings, and measuring. Sepheira ended up having her first poop all over her Paka’s (father’s) chest.
Sepheira Rae birth stats: Born March 24th, 2019 at 2:12 pm. Weight was 8 lbs 1 oz and 20†long. She was born just four days after her older brother turned two. She was my middle one in weight, but my shortest in height. She was born on 40.4 just like her older sister. She also looks like she might get the same light or nearly as light blue eyes as her sister too.
I would do it again
While Sepheira challenged everything I had about me during her labor I can look back and know that I would do it all over again. Despite the nine hours of hell in pain that I couldn’t escape from. Anita believes that her hand was likely up by her face during most of the labor and actually slowed her down even though her labor was half the time of her brother’s.
She had a bruise on her elbow and Anita had never seen it before even with all of the birth’s she’d attended both as a doula and a midwife’s assistant. My husband asked if I wanted anymore. I told him not to ask. Now I can say yes despite it all. I’m more attached and in love with my rainbow than any of my other children.
The healing birth
This was my healing birth even with all the pain. Even with the after birth contractions the next few days that would send me to my knees. Even with everything. I’ll never go back to a hospital unless medically necessary and the idea that my older children will get to be present at the next births too is amazing.
