Geburtsgeschichte von Maranda: Between Moonlight and Motherhood

Mit Maranda Bower stehe ich schon lange in Kontakt. Nun hat sie ihre Ankündigung umgesetzt und beschenkt uns heute, 15.12. im Rahmen des Geburtsgeschichten-Adventskalenders mit dieser grandiosen Geburtsgeschichte. Die Geschichte ist auf Englisch.

My baby would be born today

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It was a quiet Alaskan spring, and the moment I woke, I knew my baby would be born this day. I woke up before sunrise and the full moon illuminated the sky. There, a few feet away from the window, sat a black cat looking right at me. We don’t have a black cat. And living on 40 acres in the middle of the forest meant that something spectacular was about to happen. It was a special and personal experience, full of love and the incredible connection between mother nature, spirit, and the feminine.

I dozed in and out of sleep feeling the wholeness of my belly, and the fullness of birth in the making. This was my fourth and last babe, and I wanted to cherish every single moment of the hours before labor. There was clearly an energy behind this baby; to this day, I relish the memories of this time. The full moon shone brightly above me. The black cat watching over me. And my baby stirring gently within.

As the other children began to wake, I made my way to the kitchen to make breakfast. Before even getting to the counter, a wave of labor took over. I looked at my husband and he smiled in knowing. I shared that today was the day and continued making breakfast and loving up on my children. They patted my belly and talked to the baby assuring all how excited they were for a sister or brother.

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The morning rolled on like a slow dream. Contractions were almost non-existent, and I felt the need to be in a quiet space. I resorted to my room to shower, comb my hair, enjoy a moment of sunshine on the deck, and take a much-needed nap. When I woke, there was a new energy awaiting me. And this time I wasn’t emotionally prepared to receive it.

Ready or not

Labor was imminent, I knew. But suddenly, I didn’t feel ready. The idea of going through another labor and birth felt impossible. I’ve done this before. I don’t want to do it again. I don’t want to feel those contractions. I just wanted to meet my baby. Why did I have to go through so much work? There was something about it that felt remarkably overwhelming. As I sat there sorting out these thoughts, my loving husband walks through the door. When his eyes meet mine, my tears began to flow.

Nate held me close and I cried in his arms and shared my fears. His presence offered me a safe container in which to release what I didn’t even know was building inside me. And when the last tear dropped, a major surge moved through my body taking my breath away. I knew that this was simply the next phase of my labor. „I need to call the midwife. This is it.“

Our midwife, Susie, had been with all the births of my babies. She knew my labors, my needs, and what I wanted most for all my home births. And she knew that when I called her, things were serious. I had let her know earlier that today was the day so she was prepared for the call. „I’ve only had one big contraction. But I just had an emotional shift and I think you should come now.“ I knew she was racing to meet us.

Another wave. Then another. I moved the birth ball to the master bathroom to sit and move my hips. I checked my cervix and felt the bulging bag of waters. I felt my body opening with every surge. The contractions were right on top of each other.

Nate began to pack the girls bags for the day to go play at their cousin’s house and to ensure their little hearts were well. Auntie arrived within 15 minutes of his calling and they were on their way for a day of fun. When Nate returned to me, he found me on all fours. He held my shoulders. He hugged me and held my body up when I began to squat. He breathed in and out with me and told me I was doing this so well.

In a quick moment, water gushed between my legs. Instinctively, I knew what was next. A deep bellow came out of my body from depths you only know when you are birthing a baby. It overtook my body and within one push, my baby’s head was in my hands. Another moment of in-between. A moment between birthing and being birthed. A moment between pregnancy and motherhood. A moment that felt like an eternity waiting to meet our baby.

I felt my baby’s body turn and with another push, I held my entire sweet baby in my arms. We stared in amazement, crying tears of joy, completely overwhelmed with bliss and hormones and all the holiness that birth brings. We stared for what felt like forever until Nate breaks the silence: „Do we have a boy or girl?“ I laugh having completely forgotten to look!  A girl. Our third baby girl.

As soon as our baby girl lets out a cry, our midwife walks into the door. She was born at 2:30 in the afternoon, 55 minutes after I called Susie to come. And 10 minutes after our other children went to Auntie’s house to play. An unassisted home birth. 

After the placenta was born, we cocooned ourselves into bed. My baby girl nursed while I ate down a hearty stew like I haven’t eaten in weeks. Nate cut the cord a long while after it was ready. There was no clock to tell our time and we let our hearts lead the way. We told our family only after a deep nap, being careful to care for our need for space, rest, and comfort.

Birth ist just the Beginning

Of course, this is just the beginning. Birth is always in the beginning. Postpartum is what becomes a lifetime—a beautiful journey of growth, love, and sacrifice. As I held my precious baby girl in my arms, I realized yet again that motherhood is a tapestry woven with threads of joy, exhaustion, wonder, and resilience. It is a transformative experience that connects us to the deepest parts of ourselves, the profound mysteries of life, and the immense power of love.

In those moments of meeting our girl (who we now call Sophie Mae), I knew that every moment, every tear, every overwhelming emotion was worth it. Motherhood, with its challenges and blessings, is a sacred dance between our hearts and the hearts of our children—a dance that unfolds with each passing day, nurturing us with the extraordinary privilege of witnessing their growth, their dreams, and their limitless potential.

As I embarked on this new chapter as a mother of four, I embraced and held space for the boundless possibilities of motherhood. With the full moon casting its radiant light upon us and the enigmatic black cat as our silent witness, I felt an unbreakable bond between mother nature’s embrace and my unwavering maternal love. In that sacred moment, I knew that no matter what joys or trials lie ahead, I was blessed with the immense privilege of shaping a future, of nurturing a connection that would forever intertwine our souls. This, my friends, is the awe-inspiring tapestry of motherhood—the ultimate testament to the indomitable power of love.